The simple answer to that question is God.
But that wouldn't make for a very interesting blog post.
I guess the really answer to that goes a little bit like this....
I decided to go to Saint Leo University for a few reasons. It was Catholic, had more months of warm weather than cold weather, and it felt like home the moment I stepped on campus. After months of denying that I wanted to rush, I finally signed up and did it. That week of Spring recruitment was incredible. I learned a lot about myself and I learned a lot about Alpha Sigma Tau, the organization I later was asked to be a part of. I had the blessing of getting a big in February, who had been an advocate of me joining the sorority in the first place. Our friendship and sisterhood continued to grow and she encouraged me to dive deeper in my faith. She kept talking about Life Teen and this summer camp. I thought she was crazy, and didn't understand why she kept talking about this place. Then I was blessed to go to Camp Covecrest for an overnight retreat and experience a bit about this beautiful place. As I continued to pray God asked me to apply for Summer Staff in 2010. So I applied, and hoped for the best.
While I was on Summer Staff in 2010 at Covecrest, God literally took my crusty heart, and smashed it around and made it nice. I like to refer to it as my "playdough" heart. God was now molding and sculpting this heart to be what he wanted it to be. Prior to that summer, I was just making plans and not consulting with him first. I felt a call that summer to be a Life Teen Missionary. But it wasn't God's timing, it was just what I had wanted. My junior year was full of unexpected adventures. I was the Student Government Union President, held positions in my sorority, and my great grandmother passed away. But God was still pulling at my heart and I kept answering.
I served on Service Crew at Covecrest in 2011 and it was made pretty clear at that point that the Lord was calling me deeper into his plan, and deeper into his heart. I continued to pray and discern what that meant, and I applied to be a Life Teen Missionary in January. From that day forward God continued to mold my heart. Through the months of discernment after the application was placed in the mail, God continued to reveal himself. I continued to be the SGU President, held a huge position in my sorority, was a first year RA, and faced my own trials and tribulations throughout the year. But during this time God held me tight, and comforted me. Each time I spoke to one of the Missionaries my heart became content knowing that this is what God had in store for me.
When Lizzie called me in late April to extend an invitation to be a full time missionary my heart exploded with joy. After I hung up with her I literally leapt for joy. I skipped all around the office, and hugged people I didn't even know (sorry kid who always does his homework at the table in the SAB). It was an outward sign of this inward feeling I was containing for months, even years.
This past summer I served at Camp Tepeyac as the camp photographer and through that God continued to stretch and mold my heart. I was asked to love in ways that were difficult and serve in ways that challenged me. I was asked to perform tasks that were new, exciting and different. I was blessed with the privilege to lead a Women's session, and live in a small community. I learned a lot about myself, and the joys and trials of true discernment.
Each of these major events were stepping stones on the journey of discernment. There were also a lot of little events that led me closer to finding out what God was calling me to do. A conversation with a teen while taking pictures at the Art Barn. The simple joy I got out of throwing Kitchen Crew leftovers at squealing teenage girls. The change of heart I saw in my Executive Board as I was able to share with them what God was doing with me. The way my sorority sisters embraced my constant need to pray about things. The openness to this missionary lifestyle my family has, and the generosity of my mission partners.
I could go on and on about the glory stories that God performed in my heart and the hearts of each of the people I have come in contact. Don't even get me started on the amount of faithful witnesses I've been blessed to meet.
A beautiful thing happens when you open your heart to the Lord. Sometimes its scary, nerve racking, frustrating, difficult. But at all times its blessed.
Thank you for being a part of this journey. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me,and I'm so blessed that this happened.
"She is clothed with strength and dignity and laughs at the days to come" Proverbs 31:25
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