GOD WINS

I, Amanda Cassar, have committed to being a Life Teen Missionary in Haiti for the next two years!

Now take a minute, collect yourself, scoop your jaw off the floor and read that last sentence again. Your eyes have not deceived you; it really does say that I will be living in a third world country for the next two years. I starred at a blank screen for a long time before I could even begin to write those words. Our Lord has gently been preparing my heart for many years and now is the time that he wants me to say YES. So I have.

My story starts back in 2010 when Haiti was rocked by an Earthquake.  I can admit this today, but back then I couldn’t locate Haiti on a map, but my heart ached for that country. I got involved at my college in helping to organize a water and clothing collection but I wanted to do more. I wanted to go to Haiti and single handedly rebuild that country. After a dose of humility, and a big reality check I sat in my dorm room praying for the Lord to give me an opportunity to serve his people. December 2012 was the first time I was able to go to Haiti and it changed my life. I started to recognize all the things I took for granted in my life. Material things, but also parents who were married, three meals a day, running water, and the ability to flip a switch and instantly power up any electronic I wanted to use.  Even though my heart was ready to drop everything and move there the Lord asked me to wait a little bit longer before saying yes to Haiti. It has been an important time of learning and growing this year in Atlanta. After my most recent trip to Haiti, earlier in February, God made it very clear that at this time in my life he wanted me to say YES to this call.

This adventure will begin in May of this year and my commitment will last until August 2016. My leave date is rapidly approaching and there are a lot of details and expenses to cover. First, I could use prayers that I continue to allow God to be the center of all that I do. Second, financially this is going to be quiet an adventure but I TRUST that the Lord will provide through the generosity of YOU, my mission partners. Here are a few of the costs that I have coming up and any monetary donation helps tremendously.

Insurance- $800

Books and programs to learn Kreyole- $100

Flights to and from Haiti to come home every 3 months- $1500

You can donate online at: donate.lifeteen.com/amandacassar

Send checks to: 

 Life Teen 

#9 The Pines Ct. Ste C 

St. Louis MO 63141

"Reflection"

I spend a LOT of time in the car.

Which means I naturally know every new hip song on the radio...LIES!

Most of what they play on the radio is trash....sorry not sorry.

So I listen to CD's. (if you ever want to send me a mix CD I'll give you my address) Normal people would have a large collection of CD's in their car and change them every so often. Again...not me. Which in this case is a good thing.

We have the mixed CD called "Missionary Car Jams" made by a fellow missionary. In the early stages of listening to this CD I was putting Taylor Swift and Mumford on repeat. Then I had enough, put the CD in the glove box and forgot about it. Some how it wound up back in the CD player and PRAISE THE LORD!

During this intense time of discernment the Lord has been using very interesting things to help direct my heart to the ways he is trying to love me.There is a song on the CD called "Reflection" by Urban Rescue. The chorus of the song goes:

"I wanna burn bright like a star in the night. Sing wild, believe like a child. I just wanna be your reflection"

BOOM! 

My heart exploded with JOY the moment I heard that. 

That's it! 

That's exactly how I want to live my life. 

If I want to have a dance party,  jump on a couch/bed, jam on my guitar, sing off key and REALLY loud...THEN DO IT! 

Jesus wants me to share in the JOY of being HIS child. 

As I continue to reflect on this little verse I think about how I want Jesus to just hold me close, and rest in his arms. I imagine him just smiling on me, shouting to all who will listen "THIS IS MY BELOVED DAUGHTER, WITH WHOM I AM WELL PLEASED" (Matthew 3:17)

I don't have to prove my worth, he already knows it. I can't make a wrong choice in my discernment IF I am seeking something that is going to benefit the kingdom. 

Pray for me as I head to Haiti on Sunday to continue on this journey of constantly saying YES and discerning the will of God. 

I'm praying for you. 

January Update

Today is a snow day in Atlanta! All of my northern friends and family have got to be laughing at us today. Yesterday we were blessed with about an inch of snow that left hundreds of people stranded, it took us five hours to drive 4.5 miles, but we made it.  Below you will find a little bit about the way God has been moving in my life. It’s impossible to capture the JOY, the restlessness, the peace and over all excitement happening in my heart in just a few paragraphs but here is my best attempt.

We arrived in General Cepeda, Mexico on January 2^nd after driving for 21 hours! From the moment I arrived at the Mission Base God was calling me to TOTALLY and COMPLETELY trust him and the plan he had for me that week. It was such a blessing to have my Dad experience the Mission in Mexico with me. Dad and I were able to build a roof at two different houses, share meals together, play with local kids, go to mass and pray with people from different small ranchos around General Cedpeda. I saw the Man of God that my Dad is becoming. I got to see God move in the hearts of my fellow teammates, and the JOY that was brought to young Mexican children by just dancing with them.

Throughout my time in Mexico God rekindled the fire in my heart for foreign mission. Through deep prayer, conversation and surrender I am going to be visiting Haiti from February 9^th through February 17^th to better understand the desire God has placed on my heart.

It’s a time of “Maybe” with a ton of graces to understand the way God is moving. Maybe I am supposed to enter into a foreign mission field.  Maybe the gifts and talents he’s been building up in me will be used in Haiti. Or maybe, I’m supposed to go to Graduate School and use what I learned in Missions there. Maybe, I’m supposed to stay with Life Teen Missions in other roles, or at a different base away from Atlanta. I’m not really sure yet what God wants. I do know that our God is faithful. He will not leave me abandoned, or miserable, and he will fulfill the promises he’s whispered in my heart over and over again these past few years.

Here are two ways you can help:

1) I ask that if you feel called to help get me to Haiti you consider making a donation to the mission.  Follow the link www.donate.lifeteen.com/amandacassar

2) Pray for me! There is a novena I will be doing to Our Lady of Perpetual Help starting on February 9^thand ending on February 17^th.  She is the patron Saint of Haiti and has been a very strong intercessory for clarity during my time as a Missionary.

Oh Mother of Perpetual Help, grant that I may ever invoke your powerful name, the protection of the living and the salvation of the dying. Purest Mary, let your name henceforth be ever on my lips. Delay not, Blessed Lady, to rescue me whenever I call on you. In my temptations, in my needs, I will never cease to call on you, ever repeating your sacred name, Mary, Mary. What a consolation, what sweetness, what confidence fills my soul when I utter your sacred name or even only think of you! I thank the Lord for having given you so sweet, so powerful, so lovely a name. But I will not be content with merely uttering your name. Let my love for you prompt me ever to hail you Mother of Perpetual Help. Mother of Perpetual Help, pray for me and grant me the favor I confidently ask of you, that there be peace, clarity and confidence in God's plan during Amanda's time in Haiti. Lord, make it clear to her where you desire for her to be serving you and your teens next year. Amen
(Then say three Hail Marys).

Let me know if you have any specific prayer requests. 

Praying for you!

Snakes in Cakes

Well I'm on Long Island. 

It's a super quick trip.  

My mom likes to say I just stop by for a visit twice a year. And yea that's kinda true. 

I was determined to make this time different, to not just let these 10 days fly by. 

Here in lies me saying YES to things before really thinking about what I'm committed to. 

My mom called me a few weeks before I was to arrive home and asked if I would lead a Children"s Liturgy of the Word Sunday. I immediately said YES, and almost instantly regretted it. But I knew my parish back home has done so much for me. There are cute old ladies offering mass up for me daily, spending their time praying for us, and sending their hard earned dollars to me so I can go out and serve the world. The least I could do was give back to the parish in this very small way. 

Let's back up. What is Children's Liturgy of the Word? It's that moment of the mass when all the kids of the parish go down to the Parish Hall and the Gospel is brought to them on their level. And by kids I mean Kindergartner through 6th grade. In one place. With me, as their "teacher" for the day.

As the priest is praying over us the JOY on his face was contagious. Then he says these words "may God grant you wisdom as he as entrusted you with these souls".... Holy Hannah. That's a lot of responsibility. It's my job to bring JESUS to the least of these. As terror rushes through my body, I smile, and walk across the church with a gaggle of little ones. 

A rowdy crew was what the Lord blessed me with that Sunday. So I played into it. I had them clapping during the Alleluia, and asking them pretty interesting questions. 

What are you afraid of? Spiders? The Dark?

Nope! 

This is the answer I got from my little first grade friend "SNAKES IN CAKES".

Oh? I'm sorry what was that? 

SNAKES IN CAKES. 

Okey little man, thanks for sharing. I'll pray for you. 

A bit later we were talking about the Nativity scene and I asked:

"What kind of animals are in your nativity scenes"

Camels

Donkeys

DINOSAURS! yelled a pint sized Peanut in the front row.

Oh? Interesting. 

As our time together was winding down together I asked the kids if they would pray with me. So we said some general prayer intentions and I then opened the floor for them to pray aloud. My "snakes in cakes" dude blew me away. 

He bowed his head and began in a quiet roar..."Hi Jesus, keep my dad safe, and my mom safe, and my big sister who is sitting next to me, and watch over my family" and on and on he went. He kept his eyes closed and his hands folded as he whispered his final thoughts with an Amen. 

I stood there shocked. 

Here I was, entrusted with these souls for a few minutes, expected to change their lives and yet the innocence of that First Grader shook my world. 

He may be afraid of something that I didn't know existed, but he prayed to a powerful God who knows he exists. A God who has counted each of the hairs on my head, and claims me as his own DAILY. A God who hears the cries of our hearts, and in time, answers each of our prayers. A God who takes away our biggest fears of failure, rejection, and lack of self-confidence. Gently guiding us to him and asks us to leave it all at his feet. 

Today, that little first grade friend reminds me to PRAY BIG, know that God hears the littlest of whispers of our heart and that we are SO LOVED.

Praying for you! 

"Seven" Week 1

Advent.

A season in the church I took for granted

As a small child I looked forward to eating the chocolates out of the calendar.

As a high schooler I was excited to finish the quarter but HATED that they sent home report cards just before the start of your winter break.

As a college kid I counted down the assignments that were due and got one day closer to the end of the exhaustion of the Fall Semester.

As a missionary everything changed.

Last year, one of my missionary sisters suggested we fast from something during advent. So I did. Half heartedly. I gave up my pillow. Which wasn't to bad because I had a sweet foam mattress pad that worked pretty much like having a pillow.

This year though I knew it needed to be different. My prayer was getting more intense. The intentions people were asking me to pray for was getting more difficult. The Mission in Atlanta was beginning to grow. I figured a fast to match my prayer would be a great place to begin the sacrifice to rid myself of the junk that was consuming my heart. I really wanted to clean my heart and prepare for Jesus to enter it more fully during the Christmas season.

"Do you wish your prayer to fly toward God? Make for it two wings: fasting and almsgiving." Saint Augustine

My prayer turned into a conversation with a dear friend.
Which led me to start reading a book called "Seven".
Which then lead me to radical realization. "My life is full of way to many things, and only I can do something about that".

The book starts out with a woman who decides she wants to eat only 7 things for an entire month. So I prayed about it and figured I could do that too. Being gluten and dairy free I have a pretty interesting diet to begin with so I said why not. I started off being really crazy. I said I'm going to eat rice and beans for 24 days! Yes that sounded perfect.

But it wasn't. I wasn't feeling well because I wasn't getting the things by body needed. I needed to be able to function, serve my community and be on mission.

So I've expanded my list a bit

Rice (no salt or butter, just straight up rice)
Rice Cakes (unsalted)
Black Beans
Peanut Butter
Almond Milk
Coffee
Coffee Creamer

I know, I know, the last two items may not seem like a sacrifice. But they are! I'm committed to drinking only one cup a day. I'm pretty sure my community likes me a bit better when I have a cup of coffee in the morning.

So there it is.

Pray for me!

It's a Love Story...baby just say YES

Disclaimer: The blog has nothing to do with Taylor Swift. I just happen to find some lines of her songs rather catchy, and if only she was singing about Jesus instead of boys her life would be much cooler.


I've begun diving into the Catechism of the Catholic Church a bit more. With the Consecration has come many questions, and what better place to look for answers than the Catechism?! The cool thing about the Catechism is how its compiled of Encyclicals, doctrine, holy people's reflections and sacred scripture.

It's INCREDIBLE.

I have my undergrad in religion, and I'm now finally making sense of all of this. These readings are becoming a more personal relationship with Jesus and less about just writing papers.

These Holy documents are blowing my mind each and everyday. My missionary brother and I were talking about the way these documents are written truly as a love story. Each of these holy people are just trying to convey Gods UNCONDITIONAL love for us.

Sometimes I get lost in all the heavy theological jargon but that's ok. I trust that God is loving me through that and giving me exactly what my wee little heart is supposed to understand.

"Those who believe in Christ know the Spirit because he dwells in them" CCCC 687

Hashtag: The Struggle is Real

Our life is a battle. 

We battle sin and temptation all day, everyday. 

Don't believe me?  Here is a glimpse into the first few hours of my day. 

6:30am- Alarm goes off.

           Do I hit snooze? 

6:35 am- Rapid shower. Probably with freezing cold water.

            Do I complain about the water? The soap in my eyes? Do I dare complain about stepping out of the freezing shower onto a cold tile floor? 

6:45am- Pick out something to wear.

          Do I pick out something that's both modest and cute? Do I complain about Atlanta and it's bipolar weather? Do I regret the decision I made to wear flip flops the minute I open the door? 

7:00am- Leave the house to head to mass. 

         Do I keep the commitment I've made to my missionary family by leaving on time? 

7:01am-7:29am- Car ride to mass

        Do I complain about the inevitable traffic? Do I glorify God in my speech/actions/choice of music?

That's just the first hour my eyes have been open! Imagine the rest of my day. As I struggle to pray, glorify God in my daily tasks, conversations and interactions with others. 

BUT if we put God first, and keep him the center of our day then he will fight the battle for us. Our hard days won't seem as hard because our God who loves will WIN the war raging in our hearts.

I've also learned recently a simple lesson from my best friend to CHOOSE JOY. In those moments where I want to complain about the cold shower, or the traffic, or the line at the gas station, or the cold coffee I put in my cup which I thought was just made. ALL of those moments are a blessing. Some are easier to see than others, but I promise if you ask God will show you. 

"God will arise for battle; the enemy will be scattered" Psalm 68:2