Snakes in Cakes

Well I'm on Long Island. 

It's a super quick trip.  

My mom likes to say I just stop by for a visit twice a year. And yea that's kinda true. 

I was determined to make this time different, to not just let these 10 days fly by. 

Here in lies me saying YES to things before really thinking about what I'm committed to. 

My mom called me a few weeks before I was to arrive home and asked if I would lead a Children"s Liturgy of the Word Sunday. I immediately said YES, and almost instantly regretted it. But I knew my parish back home has done so much for me. There are cute old ladies offering mass up for me daily, spending their time praying for us, and sending their hard earned dollars to me so I can go out and serve the world. The least I could do was give back to the parish in this very small way. 

Let's back up. What is Children's Liturgy of the Word? It's that moment of the mass when all the kids of the parish go down to the Parish Hall and the Gospel is brought to them on their level. And by kids I mean Kindergartner through 6th grade. In one place. With me, as their "teacher" for the day.

As the priest is praying over us the JOY on his face was contagious. Then he says these words "may God grant you wisdom as he as entrusted you with these souls".... Holy Hannah. That's a lot of responsibility. It's my job to bring JESUS to the least of these. As terror rushes through my body, I smile, and walk across the church with a gaggle of little ones. 

A rowdy crew was what the Lord blessed me with that Sunday. So I played into it. I had them clapping during the Alleluia, and asking them pretty interesting questions. 

What are you afraid of? Spiders? The Dark?

Nope! 

This is the answer I got from my little first grade friend "SNAKES IN CAKES".

Oh? I'm sorry what was that? 

SNAKES IN CAKES. 

Okey little man, thanks for sharing. I'll pray for you. 

A bit later we were talking about the Nativity scene and I asked:

"What kind of animals are in your nativity scenes"

Camels

Donkeys

DINOSAURS! yelled a pint sized Peanut in the front row.

Oh? Interesting. 

As our time together was winding down together I asked the kids if they would pray with me. So we said some general prayer intentions and I then opened the floor for them to pray aloud. My "snakes in cakes" dude blew me away. 

He bowed his head and began in a quiet roar..."Hi Jesus, keep my dad safe, and my mom safe, and my big sister who is sitting next to me, and watch over my family" and on and on he went. He kept his eyes closed and his hands folded as he whispered his final thoughts with an Amen. 

I stood there shocked. 

Here I was, entrusted with these souls for a few minutes, expected to change their lives and yet the innocence of that First Grader shook my world. 

He may be afraid of something that I didn't know existed, but he prayed to a powerful God who knows he exists. A God who has counted each of the hairs on my head, and claims me as his own DAILY. A God who hears the cries of our hearts, and in time, answers each of our prayers. A God who takes away our biggest fears of failure, rejection, and lack of self-confidence. Gently guiding us to him and asks us to leave it all at his feet. 

Today, that little first grade friend reminds me to PRAY BIG, know that God hears the littlest of whispers of our heart and that we are SO LOVED.

Praying for you! 

"Seven" Week 1

Advent.

A season in the church I took for granted

As a small child I looked forward to eating the chocolates out of the calendar.

As a high schooler I was excited to finish the quarter but HATED that they sent home report cards just before the start of your winter break.

As a college kid I counted down the assignments that were due and got one day closer to the end of the exhaustion of the Fall Semester.

As a missionary everything changed.

Last year, one of my missionary sisters suggested we fast from something during advent. So I did. Half heartedly. I gave up my pillow. Which wasn't to bad because I had a sweet foam mattress pad that worked pretty much like having a pillow.

This year though I knew it needed to be different. My prayer was getting more intense. The intentions people were asking me to pray for was getting more difficult. The Mission in Atlanta was beginning to grow. I figured a fast to match my prayer would be a great place to begin the sacrifice to rid myself of the junk that was consuming my heart. I really wanted to clean my heart and prepare for Jesus to enter it more fully during the Christmas season.

"Do you wish your prayer to fly toward God? Make for it two wings: fasting and almsgiving." Saint Augustine

My prayer turned into a conversation with a dear friend.
Which led me to start reading a book called "Seven".
Which then lead me to radical realization. "My life is full of way to many things, and only I can do something about that".

The book starts out with a woman who decides she wants to eat only 7 things for an entire month. So I prayed about it and figured I could do that too. Being gluten and dairy free I have a pretty interesting diet to begin with so I said why not. I started off being really crazy. I said I'm going to eat rice and beans for 24 days! Yes that sounded perfect.

But it wasn't. I wasn't feeling well because I wasn't getting the things by body needed. I needed to be able to function, serve my community and be on mission.

So I've expanded my list a bit

Rice (no salt or butter, just straight up rice)
Rice Cakes (unsalted)
Black Beans
Peanut Butter
Almond Milk
Coffee
Coffee Creamer

I know, I know, the last two items may not seem like a sacrifice. But they are! I'm committed to drinking only one cup a day. I'm pretty sure my community likes me a bit better when I have a cup of coffee in the morning.

So there it is.

Pray for me!

It's a Love Story...baby just say YES

Disclaimer: The blog has nothing to do with Taylor Swift. I just happen to find some lines of her songs rather catchy, and if only she was singing about Jesus instead of boys her life would be much cooler.


I've begun diving into the Catechism of the Catholic Church a bit more. With the Consecration has come many questions, and what better place to look for answers than the Catechism?! The cool thing about the Catechism is how its compiled of Encyclicals, doctrine, holy people's reflections and sacred scripture.

It's INCREDIBLE.

I have my undergrad in religion, and I'm now finally making sense of all of this. These readings are becoming a more personal relationship with Jesus and less about just writing papers.

These Holy documents are blowing my mind each and everyday. My missionary brother and I were talking about the way these documents are written truly as a love story. Each of these holy people are just trying to convey Gods UNCONDITIONAL love for us.

Sometimes I get lost in all the heavy theological jargon but that's ok. I trust that God is loving me through that and giving me exactly what my wee little heart is supposed to understand.

"Those who believe in Christ know the Spirit because he dwells in them" CCCC 687

Hashtag: The Struggle is Real

Our life is a battle. 

We battle sin and temptation all day, everyday. 

Don't believe me?  Here is a glimpse into the first few hours of my day. 

6:30am- Alarm goes off.

           Do I hit snooze? 

6:35 am- Rapid shower. Probably with freezing cold water.

            Do I complain about the water? The soap in my eyes? Do I dare complain about stepping out of the freezing shower onto a cold tile floor? 

6:45am- Pick out something to wear.

          Do I pick out something that's both modest and cute? Do I complain about Atlanta and it's bipolar weather? Do I regret the decision I made to wear flip flops the minute I open the door? 

7:00am- Leave the house to head to mass. 

         Do I keep the commitment I've made to my missionary family by leaving on time? 

7:01am-7:29am- Car ride to mass

        Do I complain about the inevitable traffic? Do I glorify God in my speech/actions/choice of music?

That's just the first hour my eyes have been open! Imagine the rest of my day. As I struggle to pray, glorify God in my daily tasks, conversations and interactions with others. 

BUT if we put God first, and keep him the center of our day then he will fight the battle for us. Our hard days won't seem as hard because our God who loves will WIN the war raging in our hearts.

I've also learned recently a simple lesson from my best friend to CHOOSE JOY. In those moments where I want to complain about the cold shower, or the traffic, or the line at the gas station, or the cold coffee I put in my cup which I thought was just made. ALL of those moments are a blessing. Some are easier to see than others, but I promise if you ask God will show you. 

"God will arise for battle; the enemy will be scattered" Psalm 68:2

Words can't describe the Love

Her name is Chris.

She's a refugee.

She's captured my heart.

She's helped me to see God's faithfulness.

I've been blessed with the opportunity to serve Corpus Christi in Stone Mountain, Georgia. I leave my apartment at 3:30pm to make sure I get there by 5:30pm. I battle traffic for what seems like forever.

And in that battle, it's the moment I realize IT'S NOT ABOUT ME.

So I gather my pride, pray a Hail Mary and find some JOY. Next thing you know Woody and I are jamming out to some Matt Maher, or any of the Love Good Music CD's (lovegoodmusic.com...support them) that we find laying around in our car.

I step out of the car and entire a dark gym.

There's round tables set up and 8 chairs at every table.

Welcome to Life Night.

I'm overwhelmed and don't really know what to expect.

Almost two months have gone by and I'm a bit more comfortable at the parish now. I know that there are almost 70 teens that come every week who are yearning to know Jesus in a deep way, but are scared. I know their names, almost all of them. I know they are broken. I'm beginning to learn their stories and where they come from.

I have been praying for Core Members. Basically BEGING Jesus to send us some adults to help all of these teens fall in love with Jesus.

Enter Chris.

She's a small woman in stature from the Philippines.
Her English is great, and her heart is HUGE.

I got to hear a bit of her story and it blew my mind.

She lived in Pakistan with her husband and two children. Her husband began receiving death threats in early 2012 because he was living out his CATHOLIC faith. So him and his family packed their house, sold most of what they owned, in two weeks and  fled to the Philippines. Because Chris was born there  they had no problem getting in to the country but they knew they had to find a more permeant place for their children to live.

Enter her husband sister. They haven't talked in 12 years. But she heard they were in trouble. She is established here in America and wanted to help her brother.

Chris and her family moved to America on October 15. The four of them live in a bedroom of Chris's sister-in-law.

She became a Core Member on October 23. When I asked her just a few days ago what made her want to be here she said "I have no job. Not a lot of money. Enough food to eat, and a God who loves me very much. Jesus, he brought me here to America and now I must serve him and his people"

If that doesn't make you want to go out and serve, I don't know what will.

Safety Third

"Oh, Atlanta?....is it safe?"

"Really? Your spending a week Haiti, be careful"

"Mexico? And your DRIVING, be careful"

I'm not a very dangerous kid. I haven't fallen out of any trees, broken any bones or even got a single stitch. The most physically dangerous thing I've ever done was playing High School Women's Rugby. My position was hooker, and most likely to break her nose. I never even came close!

Let's face the reality; you could slip on a banana peel and die. Or trip over your own two feet into on coming traffic and get hit by a taxi. So being a missionary, with teenagers, in America seemed pretty safe.

BOY WAS I WRONG!

Everyday I put my life on the line to defend my faith. I have to admit that I am weak, let me guard down and let Jesus take over my heart. Now people THAT is dangerous yet so comforting. Remember the song Oceans? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8mZpGj29qw) Well the line "my soul will rest in your embrace" gives me great hope when I feel scared or nervous about the mission the LORD has me on. If I'm pursing the LORD with passion and zeal for souls then, I am safe and nothing can harm me....except maybe a banana peel.

"The safest place for us to be at any point in our lives is passionately pursing God and the purpose to which he has called us"-Bill Johnson in "Strengthen Yourself in the Lord"

PS- Read that book. It will radically change your life!

Prayer is not asking, it's a longing of the soul.

As a Life Teen Missionary we have a daily rhythm  of prayer.

7:30am Daily Mass
8:30am Holy Hour
9:30am Liturgy of the Hours

Liturgy of the Hours has been the hardest part of our morning prayer routine for me to enjoy. Liturgy of the Hours is the second highest form of prayer in our church. The first being the Eucharist! It is a four week cycle of Psalms, Antiphons and Canticles prayed by religious, consecrated and lay people throughout the word. Tradition tells us that someone, somewhere is praying these prayers every moment of every day. You can pray these prayers at seven different times of the day. As a Life Teen missionary we are committed to praying Morning Prayer and Night Prayer.

As I grew more and more in love with the Lord over the past year and a half I also have grown in discipline in my prayer life. With that discipline comes a deeper desire to really dive into Liturgy of the Hours and so instead of just reading the words actually PRAYING the words.

My favorite Week and Day to pray is Wednesday Week 4 Morning prayer. The antiphons are my favorite words to pray, and they really build on each other. This day seems to always come just when I need to be reminded of these simple words.

The first antiphon says "My heart is ready, o God, my heart is ready". For me I take this a true surrender to God's plan for me for that day. I don't always know what the day holds for me but if my heart is open then I can whole heartedly say YES to each of the way's the Lord calls me to love. The second antiphon says "The Lord has robed me with grace and salvation". This is the how for the me. If my heart is ready then I will go out and do what the Lord has asked me with HIS grace. The third antiphon says "I will praise my God all the days of my life". Because the Lord is so good, and because I have committed my heart to his plan and because he gives me the grace to do what he commands I MUST praise the Lord, and I WANT to praise the Lord.

Today I challenge you to dive deeper into your prayer. To actually pray the words you are speaking and don't let them just fall off of your tongue. Speak them from your heart and feel them resonate in your entire being. Put those words into action.