I thought this assignment was stupid, and almost impossible. It shocked me that I couldn’t even think of a dream that I had for my own life. I’m 20 years old, something is wrong with that picture. The last dream I can remember was when people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said a firefighter. People kept telling me that I couldn’t because I was a woman, but then I said I was going to prove them wrong. But little by little that block was chipped away without even realizing it. Then my next dream was to be a teacher, but people told me I wasn’t good enough for that job either. Then I feel like I stopped dream, because I was tired of being told I couldn’t do something. Then I stopped setting goals, and starting taking life as it came at me. I guess you could say I allowed fate to run my life, and I tried to be ok with it. Today was the first time in a long time that I stopped, and let myself be 20. Ok maybe I retracted to being 5 or 6 but I’m ok with it. I went outside and played in the rain, and made a slip and slide with some sister. We used dish soap, and garbage bags and just slid around the bowl for two hours, it was beautiful. I did feel guilty, because I didn’t go to a meeting I should have been to, and I neglected homework that was piling up. But I kept telling myself that the homework would get done, and the meeting wasn’t going to be productive anyway. When I got back to my room and took my phone out of the rice I had nasty text messages from the person in charge of the meeting. She informed me of how disappointed she was in me for not showing up, and how much I let her down because I told her I would be there. That’s what I don’t like about doing things for myself. I hope she understands that I’m not superwoman, and even superwoman likes to play in the rain.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
99 Years and counting
When a person dies we go back in our minds to remember every last detail about them. The way they dressed, the way they laughed, what made them angry, what made them laugh, what made them the person we love. This weekend I've really been missing Nan.
My most precious memories of her were in her kitchen, surrounded by the smells of garlic, and fresh herbs she just picked from her garden that afternoon. Her house would be filled with this amazing aroma and it wasn't only the food she was cooking but it was the love was in the air. Nan's kitchen was filled with food, and love. So this weekend I wanted to recreate some memories of her and her cooking. I invited some of my sisters over to the apartment and we cooked and ate all day, well into the night. I made her chicken and wood. I tried really hard to remember how she did everything. First she would wash the chicken and then all the other steps that followed just flowed right out of the memories I had stored in my mind. As we gathered around our small coffee table in my apartment eating on the floor I was taken aback. I so badly wanted to be eating this meal with her, around her kitchen table. But the Lord had a different plan for the rest of my life. I now have these beautiful memories of her that I can share with all those who never got to meet her.
Love you Nan
My most precious memories of her were in her kitchen, surrounded by the smells of garlic, and fresh herbs she just picked from her garden that afternoon. Her house would be filled with this amazing aroma and it wasn't only the food she was cooking but it was the love was in the air. Nan's kitchen was filled with food, and love. So this weekend I wanted to recreate some memories of her and her cooking. I invited some of my sisters over to the apartment and we cooked and ate all day, well into the night. I made her chicken and wood. I tried really hard to remember how she did everything. First she would wash the chicken and then all the other steps that followed just flowed right out of the memories I had stored in my mind. As we gathered around our small coffee table in my apartment eating on the floor I was taken aback. I so badly wanted to be eating this meal with her, around her kitchen table. But the Lord had a different plan for the rest of my life. I now have these beautiful memories of her that I can share with all those who never got to meet her.
Love you Nan
Friday, March 18, 2011
HE IS MOVING
The Lord is moving!
I had such a blessed week being back at Covecrest. The Lord is moving in my heart.Pray for the courage to say YES. He as stirred up HIS plan and has made it known what HE wants me to do.
Pray that I follow HIS plan.
Pray that I put my desires aside.
Pray for his will to be done.
Praying for your total surrender.
I had such a blessed week being back at Covecrest. The Lord is moving in my heart.Pray for the courage to say YES. He as stirred up HIS plan and has made it known what HE wants me to do.
Pray that I follow HIS plan.
Pray that I put my desires aside.
Pray for his will to be done.
Praying for your total surrender.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Lent Day 2-4
Thursday, Friday and Saturday! Lent is flying by.
These past few days I've offered my prayers for some close friends who are going through a lot right now. I wake up in the morning and ask the Lord who I should offer my prayer for. Sometimes I get a text during the day and I pray for that person for the rest of the day. The Lord is working on my own heart and it's amazing. I can't put into words right now what's going on, its between God and I for a little bit longer.
Praying for you.
These past few days I've offered my prayers for some close friends who are going through a lot right now. I wake up in the morning and ask the Lord who I should offer my prayer for. Sometimes I get a text during the day and I pray for that person for the rest of the day. The Lord is working on my own heart and it's amazing. I can't put into words right now what's going on, its between God and I for a little bit longer.
Praying for you.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Lent Day 1
Everyday during Lent I'm taking one person in my life who is really important to me and offering my day of prayer for them. So morning prayer, and night prayer will be offered for a different person as well as different intentions throughout the day. Then during the day at some point I will go for a run. Mostly because I hate running I've chosen that so that I could offer it up for my prayer person for the day. Today being Ash Wednesday was the first day of Lent. I have offered today for you. For your travels, for your family, for your grandma, for all that you do and for you as someone whom I love and respect. I will continue to pray for you, as I do everyday.
Love you MD <3
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Lent
Dear Lent,
You confuse me.
Sincerely Hungry
I'm not really sure how I feel about Lent, but Ash Wednesday in particular. We walk around campus with black dirt on our forehead, getting weird looks from everyone who doesn't have a cross on their head. Are we as Catholics singling ourselves out during this time? Are we boasting we aren't eating meat? Are we complaining we aren't eating meat? Or are we humbling accepting the food we do have and finding an alternative?
The buzz around the Dining Hall today was either, "There is nothing to eat" or "What are you giving up for Lent?". Both questions clearly impacted the campus as a whole. I started to pray into what I would be giving up for Lent during Advent. As I prayed more about it I started to realize I didn't want to give anything up I wanted to do more. I know I know "Amanda you shouldn't be doing ANY MORE!" But I'm going to run everyday and offer up my run for member of my family. Once I offer that run I will then write a letter to the person I've prayed for the entire day.
So that's what I'm doing for Lent. I hope your Lent is fruitful!
I pray that these next 40 Days I will develop a better understanding of Lent.
You confuse me.
Sincerely Hungry
I'm not really sure how I feel about Lent, but Ash Wednesday in particular. We walk around campus with black dirt on our forehead, getting weird looks from everyone who doesn't have a cross on their head. Are we as Catholics singling ourselves out during this time? Are we boasting we aren't eating meat? Are we complaining we aren't eating meat? Or are we humbling accepting the food we do have and finding an alternative?
The buzz around the Dining Hall today was either, "There is nothing to eat" or "What are you giving up for Lent?". Both questions clearly impacted the campus as a whole. I started to pray into what I would be giving up for Lent during Advent. As I prayed more about it I started to realize I didn't want to give anything up I wanted to do more. I know I know "Amanda you shouldn't be doing ANY MORE!" But I'm going to run everyday and offer up my run for member of my family. Once I offer that run I will then write a letter to the person I've prayed for the entire day.
So that's what I'm doing for Lent. I hope your Lent is fruitful!
I pray that these next 40 Days I will develop a better understanding of Lent.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
99 Years
It has been a world wind of the past two weeks. Love Week has come and gone but the seeds that were planted that week have been so fruitful. Hug Day, Cookie Day, Staff Appreciation Day, and Pay it Forward Day was outstanding. God is moving mountains here.
Saturday made the realization that life goes on and that God has a plan for us right in my face. I was sitting at the Womens Basketball Game and I noticed a missed call from my Mom. So during a time out I ran outside expecting them to say they were almost home, or tell me a funny story about their RV trip. Instead she told me my Great Grandma passed away.
I was in shock. I wanted to cry, I wanted to yell. But at the same time a peaceful calm came over me. She was with the Lord. If we aren't living our life to be with our heavenly father then what are we living our life for. I went home Monday morning and God was so present with our family the entire time. Now I'm back at Leo trying to figure out if this is real life, and did this really happen. But for now just like Nan would say
AND THAT's IT.
Saturday made the realization that life goes on and that God has a plan for us right in my face. I was sitting at the Womens Basketball Game and I noticed a missed call from my Mom. So during a time out I ran outside expecting them to say they were almost home, or tell me a funny story about their RV trip. Instead she told me my Great Grandma passed away.
I was in shock. I wanted to cry, I wanted to yell. But at the same time a peaceful calm came over me. She was with the Lord. If we aren't living our life to be with our heavenly father then what are we living our life for. I went home Monday morning and God was so present with our family the entire time. Now I'm back at Leo trying to figure out if this is real life, and did this really happen. But for now just like Nan would say
AND THAT's IT.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)