Family

You miss them when they aren't around.

Most of the time you can't stand them when they are.

But my desire for family has been so intense since I left camp almost 3 months ago. We were reading in my  Marriage and Family class about the make-up of a family. What is a family? It's a question often that's put into my mind. Ok so I have a mom, a dad and a sister, that's my family. Well what about my AST sister's they are my family, add in there cast, small group, SGU E-board and my Covecrest family. Well that's a whole lot of love. So if we are all so surrounded by love why can't we just share it? Why can't we just let God use us as an instrument of HIS love? Why can't we just help that person on the side of the road and tell them we love them for who they are? I guess what I'm trying to say, is that you can't put a label on what a family looks like. You can only take what you have and work with it. We may be disfunctional half of the time, and we may want to strangle each other the other half of the time, but if we just LOVE then we can't go wrong.

Complete Exhaustion

Some thing is wrong. It's only week 5 of school and I'm completely exhausted. My only comparison is week 5 of camp. When we reached that breaking point of being so close to the end.


Heavenly Father, Ruin me! Use me as an instrument of your love. 

Luke 9:1-6

Jesus summoned the Twelve and gave them power and authority over all demons and to cure diseases, and he sent them to proclaim the Kingdom of God and to heal the sick. He said to them, "Take nothing for the journey, neither walking stick, nor sack, nor food, nor money, and let no one take a second tunic.Whatever house you enter, stay there and leave from there. And as for those who do not welcome you, when you leave that town, shake the dust from your feet in testimony against them." Then they set out and went from village to village proclaiming the Good News and curing diseases everywhere.

Take nothing. No cellphones, computers, ipod's, money, cars, NOTHING. In the world we live in today this is so hard to imagine. But how can we be present to people and their needs when we are hiding behind blackberry's, computers and facebook. It is that hard to put it down, turn the TV off and have a conversation? Yes. I try, I'm not perfect. When someone comes into the office I make an effort to put all that stuff down and really listen to the concern of the student, or faculty member that has wondered into the office. I do this because they are a child of God, they are worth my time even it is someone who I don't really get along with. They are worth the time, because you never know why they have crossed your path. 

There was a beautiful older man that came into my office just the other day. I wound up setting the computer down and listening to his story. He worked at my school in the 60's and was so excited to see the service opportunity's going on at my school. I never caught his name, but he was just this glowing angel. When I was talking to a faculty member about this man they had never heard of him, and they had wondered how he even got on campus. I simply smiled and said hey thanks God.

What is my purpose?

Through out this entire month of being on campus as the SGU President I've struggled with my purpose here. What can I do to glorify God here at St. Leo?  Through a lot of prayers, and patience and just some really blessed conversations its obvious but not easy. I am here to love. Just love. I can't grant everyone with the money they ask, or the time the desire, or even to attend all the meetings I'm asked to be at, but I can love and so can you. I've noticed that if I pray to God asking him to use me as an instrument of HIS love then I can do it. If I think I'm going to just love all 1700 students on campus by myself boy am I wrong. Only HIS love can handle all the brokenness on campus, only HIS love can handle the brokenness in my own heart. So I pray that if I do one thing on this campus it's to show God's love to all of HIS people here at St. Leo.

While writing this blog this song came on Spirit FM and I have no idea what it's called or who even sings it but these words are just speaking to my heart at this moment. This is exactly what I feel. HIS love for us is so pure and so unconditional. I can turn to HIM at anytime, in any mood I'm in and HE loves me right where I'm at.  "I know my love for You is real 'cause I can feel it inside and that's all I need 'cause Your love sets me free"

"Keep alert, stand firm in your faith, be courageous be strong. Let all you do be done in love." 1 Cor. 16: 13-14

HIS love endures FOREVER

Oh what a weekend. Typical college student's Monday morning comments. But for me it was filled with my main squeeze(Jesus), friends, sisters, and much needed alone time. Many blessed conversations, tears, laughter, frustrations and glory stories. Through it all God was so present. 


Saturday was September 11. Nine years ago that day many, many lives were lost in that tragic event. No matter how many years have passed, you can remember exactly where you were, who you were with and what you were doing. The hardest part for the longest time was finding God in that mess. But you see he was right there with all those people in the plane, in the office buildings, with the firefighters running in while everyone else was running out. He was present in the hearts of the police officers who were trying to maintain a little bit of control, the government officials who had to now decide how they were going to protect our country and its people. 


Our God doesn't run away when we get into a sticky situation. He puts on his rubber boots and carry's us through it. He leads us through all of life and never leaves our side. Sometimes it is us who run away, we are the ones who flee, but he is waiting right there with arms wide opening waiting for us to come home. This Sunday's gospel was the Return of the Prodigal Son. Which talks about just this. The son strayed from home, spent all his money and became so lost, while the other son was home working everyday. But when the son came home his father accepted him and loved him right where he was. This image of an older man with his arm stretched out just waiting for his son to leap into his arms is what I picture when I hear this story. That is what our God does, he loves unconditionally, YOU right where you are at. Don't ever doubt that, and if you do, run to the sacraments. He will be waiting. 

Luke 1: 38

"Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word." - Luke 1:38

 During my time at camp I asked for the grace of patience and humility. So pretty much be careful what you pray for. God has granted me theses graces with many challenges. But Praise God through it all. Since Day one of camp God has reviled himself through these graces in so many ways. Through my missionary brothers, learning how to build a retention wall, through my missionary sisters when it was time to take to figure out who was going to shower and when. Now back at school through my teachers, sisters, friends and students who come into the SGU office on a daily basis. Why all this humility nonsense? Well this summer I was desiring this deeper relationship with our mother Mary. So I continued to pray about it and really ask the Lord how he wanted me to do this. As I prayed and talked to my missionary sisters I learned more about the Total Consecration to Mary. I started this Mary adventure on Saturday, and I haven't looked back. Day 5 of the Consecration stated "Let they name be praised, not mine; let Thy work be magnified, not mine; let Thy Holy Name be blessed, but let nothing be attributed to me of the praise of men". As I continue to pray about becoming more humble it continues to be a daily struggle, but through the Lord all is possible. 

Here goes nothing.

Returning back to school about a month ago people would ask me "What did you do this summer?" or "Did you do anything exciting". It was so hard to reply with out bursting out into this long story of explaining how I would, wake up at 6:30 in the morning to go sit in the chapel with our Lord, transform the lives of teenagers through Christ, get mud stuck in places I never knew mud could go, go to bed at midnight and wake up and do it all over again, with out getting a few weird looks. 

This summer with out a doubt was life changing, challenging, frightening, full of joy, exhausting, and overall the best summer I've ever had. But now that summers over I'm back in the secular world and God's still moving mountains. Praise God for that. As I go through this next year being a Peer Minister, Student Government Union President, Prudy Pingleton (in Hairspray) friend, sister, mentor, and women of God, I'm going to live it all through HIM because I am HIS Beloved. So here goes nothing!